The Randomness That is my Life

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

The snow will kill me yet.

This morning was a mass of halarity and annoyance. Getting out of my parking spot was an unnessisary frustration. I think I may have (well in fact I did) hit my neighbours car. But concidering he parked it in the most inconvienient place possible for anyone but himself, I won't worry about it. I figure he was the idiot in this situation not me. I mean, what was he DRUNK when he parked his car. You never can tell...this is PEI.
On other news, Ryan and my relationship is back on track after last weeks craziness. I have to say, I never wish to have another week like that. Although, I have to admit that Evan is still a prodominent thought in my head. I am not sure why, and I wish he would go away. I continue to wonder; however, why this may be. I don't want to look into it to deeply for fear of what I may discover. For now I am content where I am, in my life and situation. If only the fucking snow would stop, then I might say I was even blissful.
I have also thought lately that I might have turned into a bit of a quitter. But I figure, my personal and mental well being come above everything else. And the stress of driving to school today somehow manages to only worsen my depression. Which is another subject worth mentioning. When I get home I am planning on giving a new therapist a call. Whether or not it helps...
I hope so.
I may as well go make an appointment with the nice doctor as well to see if it is possible I talk to a councellor here first, give a different one a bit of a chance. I will also see if there is a possibility of upping my meds. I am so glad this is a private blog. I would worry otherwise. Mostly I like talking to myself.

Friday, January 21, 2005


Well, the last few days have been continuously confusing. It is amazing how one phone call can change your life for a few weeks. Evan called a few days ago, and our conversation was nothing but friendly, but once again it leaves me thinking about him more than I probably should. It doesn't help that things between Ryan and I continuously get more comfortable, yet I know how much I adore him. I miss him when he's not around, and all those other cliche things that people say about the ones they love.
Ken called last night, and we talked for ages. It seems as though my place in his life has been taken over by some new Kim girl. Somehow it makes me hurt, yet in other ways it makes me realize that I need to let him go as a love, and embrace him souly as a friend. Still, it is not pleasant to think of him drinking and laughing with someone else. That's my job!
Well, I have a pub crawl to attend tonight. As usual I am a little worried about the outcome of this little escapade. Never the less, I hope it's fun.
That is all,